Where to begin with this one? Oh, Lake of Forgiveness, how I struggled.
This painting started about 3 years ago as so many do - with the spirit of experimentation. This time I was experimenting with some new media, gels, etc. and thought it would be fun to play with fabric collage in the underpainting. (It's basically invisible now, but under so many layers of paint, strewn across the horizon line are some fabric violets that were the original impetus for the painting. ) How many times did I not know where in the world to take this piece? Probably a hundred, at least. I would paint, stop, look, paint some more, then stop again and look. The piece was going nowhere. So, I put it away for another time.
The painting cycled through many more overhauls until I just got sick of it and finally resolved to make something happen. So, I went to my standby- the clear landscape. I know that when I'm lost, it's good for me to focus on something- and often that's a horizon line- where the sky meets the earth or water. But even after I decided on the subject, we (the canvas and I) went round and round again. Sometimes paintings are just "difficult", they don't want to be resolved so quickly.
I can honestly say that when I titled the painting, "Lake of Forgiveness", I still wasn't sure if it was finished. But when my collector saw it's most recent incarnation paired with the title, she knew she had to have it.
Lake of Forgiveness. For Tricia it means one thing. She loves it because it's a beautiful visual reminder of how we all need to let go of whatever we hold onto, hold against, hold over, or hold far away. For me, it's the same, really. Forgiveness is something that I struggle with daily, with others and especially with myself. Allowing myself to be more tolerant of my own humanity and a little less critical of my flaws. Allowing it to not be perfect all the time, allowing myself to make mistakes and still love myself and love those mistakes.
That canvas and I had a lot of forgiving to do of each other until I finally gave it a title and deemed it finished. The struggle was long. But that's what a practice offers- the opportunity to struggle through something and come out the other side- with whatever the lesson holds. Painting isn't just about making pretty pictures for me. It's a practice that work with that continues to take me to the other side- where peace resides.
And now I hit the ball to your court: Where can you do some forgiving? And then share. Why, you ask? Because it's courageous to share. And life is now.
Here's my list- I am grateful for:
1. Being a new mommy and all of the trials, tribulations and joys that come with it. 2. Living in a place where it's like paradise in the winter. 3. Having creative talent and being able to express it in many forms. 4. My wonderful friends who are there for me whenever I need them. 5. My husband who, even though he sometimes drives me crazy, completely loves me. And I him. 6. Being able to sit and type out this list. 7. Being a stepmom to 2 boys who I get the privilege to watch grow. 8. My wonderful family and all of the characters we are. 9. Other new mom friends who share the journey with me. 10. My yoga practice and how much it helps me to relax and breathe and open to the present moment. 11. Living in a beautiful house that I had the opportunity to remodel with all of my own choices. 12. Living in a country where I have so many freedoms. 13. Having a studio where I get to play and create and dream. 14. My sweet kitty who taught me how to love animals. 15. My car- it carries lots of stuff and takes me lots of places! ( I lived without a car for 10 years and didn't miss it, but now I need one.) 16. Having a blog and a website where I can share my art. 17. Learning about natural eating and living and how it has impacted my life. 18. Knowing that my attitude makes a huge difference in how my day goes. 19. Putting the above into practice as often as possible. 20. I'm thankful that there is such a thing as the arts- music, dance, theatre, visual, all of which make life so much better. 21. Radio shows. 22. Good TV. 23. KCRW radio 24. the internet! (remember before the internet?) 25. my awesome phone and all of the amazing technology on it- actually just technology in general. 26. Seeing beauty in everything. 27. My healthy body and mind and spirit- 28. The fact that the landscaping in our yard is pretty much done- and we did it ourselves! 29. The angels who look after me everyday. 30. Being connected to a higher power and trusting the path I am led.
My abstracted landscapes are impressions of places that are inspired by our earth, yet not quite of this world. I allow the colors to shift and play, forming layers that let you choose where you may be, and then choose once again.Read More